Updated August 31, 2019
Summary:
This article reflects on the recent revelation of Mother Teresa’s struggles with faith and how it relates to doubts within the Jewish community. I share personal insights and stories that highlight the importance of open discussions about belief, identity, and the natural doubts we all face.
1. A Surprising Discovery
Last week, I was taken aback by an article about Mother Teresa. It revealed letters she wrote that showed she struggled with her faith for nearly 50 years. In one letter, she expressed deep pain, feeling as if God was distant from her. It made me rethink everything I thought I knew about her.
A Peek into Her Heart
She wrote, “In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I feel that God does not want me.” That hit me hard. I never imagined someone so devoted could feel so lost. It reminded me of times when I questioned my own beliefs, especially during sleepless nights when my worries seemed to drown out my faith.
2. The Church’s Response
Interestingly, the Catholic Church has been quite accepting of these revelations. Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, who supports her sainthood, said they were aware of her writings long before she was beatified in 2003. I admire this openness; it shows that even revered figures struggle, which can make faith feel more relatable.
What If It Were Different?
I started to wonder how leaders in the Jewish community might respond if similar letters were found from one of our rabbis. My gut tells me there might be more denial or suppression. I remember hearing stories of how some publications were kept under wraps. It feels as if acknowledging doubt is often avoided.
3. The Challenge of Doubt in Judaism
In Christianity, admitting doubt is more common. Saints like St. Therese of Lisieux openly shared their struggles. I often think about how, in Orthodox Judaism, it’s taboo to voice uncertainties about God or the Torah. My kids sometimes ask questions that make me pause, and I want them to feel safe discussing their thoughts.
A Personal Anecdote
Just the other day, my daughter asked me, “Mom, what if someone doesn’t believe in God?” I took a deep breath. I want her to know that questioning is part of growth. I told her that everyone has doubts, and it’s okay to explore them.
4. Shifts in Belief
While we might not be more certain in our beliefs than Christians, we often focus less on theology and more on halachah and Jewish law. This has become even more pronounced in recent years. I see it in my community, where differing views can feel unwelcome.
The Struggle for Openness
I often hear friends express frustration about wanting to discuss their thoughts but feeling they need to keep quiet. They worry that speaking up might change how others see them. I can relate; I’ve felt that pressure myself when talking about my own doubts.
5. The Reality of Doubt
It’s unrealistic to think that everyone will have unwavering faith. We live in a world where questioning is encouraged. I remember scrolling through social media and stumbling upon discussions in Jewish blogs. It’s eye-opening to see how many people are grappling with similar feelings.
A Hidden Challenge
Many Orthodox individuals feel they can’t share their doubts openly. They fear being labeled as apikorsim or not truly Jewish. I can only imagine how isolating that must be. It makes me grateful for the safe spaces I’ve found where I can share my thoughts without fear.
6. Embracing Our Questions
The real tragedy is that fear keeps people from expressing their doubts. I believe we need to change how we view these questions. Instead of seeing them as threats, we can see them as opportunities to deepen our understanding and faith.
A Hopeful Perspective
I want to encourage my children to embrace their questions. After all, grappling with faith can lead to a richer, more meaningful connection with God. It’s like when I tried to bake a new recipe; the process of figuring it out made the final product so much more satisfying.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
As Spanish Cardinal Julian Herranz said about Mother Teresa, moments of crisis are part of a greater faith journey. We can learn from her experience, recognizing that doubt doesn’t diminish our faith. Instead, it can strengthen our understanding and connection to our beliefs. Let’s embrace our journeys together, supporting each other in our questions and discoveries!